Sunnydale Antics
by harsens-rob
Summary: Story 14: Giles returns. Knights arrive. Glory makes her presence known. Buffy fights a big green Troll. Willow and Anya argue. Dawn's nature is revealed to the gang. Starts lighthearted before getting serious in the last chapter. Buffybot is delivered.
1. Delivery

Disclaimer: Legal stuff, don't own characters, haven't made any money, this is for entertainment purposes, no profit earned, lawyers go away. –_kisses-_

**You can comment on this or any Spanderverse stories by visiting the Spanderverse forum under the Buffy topic! You can also read my commentary on 'To Dream', 'After 314', 'Spike', and 'Dracula'. Emails are welcome as is R & R (_please_ – _feed my muse_).**

POV: Shifts Perspective

Spoiler Alert: There are tidbits from past episodes and Spanderverse: stories.

Notes: Story number fifteen in the Spanderverse-universe, following "_Falling Apart_". Everything from the television series through the defeat of Adam also occurred as depicted, in the Spanderverse.

People's thoughts are depicted in _italics_. You'll find emphasis depicted with an underline.

More Notes: BIG thanks to Joss, the ME creative team and the crew of one of the best shows on television. WE MISS YOU!

Thanks to the authors of Fanfiction, wherever you may post. It's probable that I've read at least one of your stories somewhere. I apologize for recycling concepts inadvertently from the plentitude of stories I've read.

Takes place two weeks after Thanksgiving, and ergo, about two weeks more or less before Christmas.

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**Sunnydale Antics**

Ch 1 – Delivery

**Two weeks before bloody Christmas and two bloody weeks late, Spike stood looking at Buffy. She was standing perfectly still, not so much as a sway in her movements with her eyes closed, waiting. Waiting for him.**

**Nearby and scenting up the air with the aroma of nerves and the sounds of shuffling stood the man that had brought Spike and his Slayer together at last. Warren cleared his throat anxiously, "Well?"**

"**She's seems…life-like. 'Leastways with her standing still. How do I know she'll…perform…to my specifications?"**

"**Oh, she will! She's got everything you asked for. Sorry, she's a bit late. But, it'll be worth the wait, you'll see."**

"**And her requirements," Spike asked. "Not that I'm worrying about stealing a little more electricity from the city grid, but it could be damned inconvenient if she winds down just when things get good."**

"**Not necessary. I mean," Warren sputtered. He really wanted to get the hell out of here before the vampire remembered he should have been fanging him by now. **

"**I mean, I gave her solar collectors…behind the eyes. Just have her stand outside and stare at the sun for thirty minutes a day and she'll be good for twenty four hours. As a backup, that case next to her is a miniature generator…runs on kerosene. It'll keep her running on cloudy days."**

**Spike gazed over his specially built Buffy and winced a little. Even being a vampire, he could tell there was something immensely wrong with this whole scenario. But, what's done was done and he had her now. Still, maybe he should cancel the whole show; have this nerdy bloke take her apart and forget the whole idea. He turned to ask what's-his-name about shutting her down in case of emergencies only to find the skittery young man gone. He'd been so wrapped up in his mini-guilt fest, he'd let the wanker slip out on him.**

"**Bloody hell."**

**The Buffybot's eyes flew open then, and Spike was caught speechless by how alive she seemed. Her eyes sparkled and her muscles shifted beneath the flesh-looking skin. She expressed a surprised and pleased reaction to his presence and he thought of the real Buffy and how she'd never reacted this way. And about how much he'd give if only she would.**

**Seconds later, the Buffybot was in his arms and kissing him like he'd always imagined Buffy would kiss and he forgot all of his qualms. Even her breasts under his hands felt real. Spike closed his eyes and allowed himself to get lost in the fantasy.**

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**Joyce tiptoed through her front door, swaying slightly as evidence that she might have wanted to pass on that last glass of wine. But the night was so magical and Brian was so disarming, she'd found herself hesitant to end the evening. In fact, if it wasn't for the fact that she'd specifically told the girls she wouldn't be late, she just might have allowed herself to go back to Brian's place tonight. After all, she was an adult and she and Brian had been on what, four or six dates by now? Surely he wouldn't think she was 'easy' if she got a little bold?**

**She crossed the threshold, giggling a bit with the thought of finally having sex again after such a long dry spell. She had her black pumps in one hand and the keys in the other as she tried not to wake up the girls, only to be confronted by two narrowed pairs of eyes and two impatient sets of feet tapping away on the floor.**

"**You're late," Dawn said while glaring.**

**Buffy stood in an identical stance to her sister. "And," she added with a smirk, "your lipstick is all smudgy."**

**Dawn was ecstatic and immediately began whooping. "Oh, my God! You and Brian have been making out! Go Mom! Go Mom! It's your birthday!"**

**Buffy warmly took her mother's heels and keys from her. With a grin she pointed out that Joyce was looking a little bit tipsy. "I hope Brian hasn't been taking advantage of my mother! Getting her all liquored up and then…" she waggled her eyebrows causing Joyce to immediately turn pink.**

"**Buffy! I am not that sort of a woman. And neither are my daughters, I hope."**

"**Oh, c'mon mom," Dawn said, "it's the 90's and not the 1890's. How long are you going to put the guy off?"**

"**Dawn! And Buffy! And, my goodness, I'm not talking about this. When Brian and I are…well, when it's time, it'll be when I tell you I'm leaving town on a business trip. Not when I'm coming home tipsy from the restaurant," she giggled.**

"**Well, now that you're home safe and sound," Buffy said with a quick peck and grabbing her coat, "I need to do a quick patrol. 'Night!"**

"**Buffy? You'll be careful, right? Even if it is just your ordinary vampires?"**

"**I'm always careful, mom."**

"**I think the new look is growing on me," Joyce smiled. Buffy had suddenly decided to dye her hair to dark black on a whim and though it'd taken some time to get used to it, it didn't look bad. Buffy always seemed less than happy with it, but when Joyce reminded her she could just change it back, her daughter would only shrug.**

"**And you, honey," Joyce said to Dawn, "should have been in bed, oh…two hours ago?"**

"**I'm going, I'm going. But, mom? Buffy and I really are happy seeing you dating. You know, if things are getting serious, well, we approve and stuff."**

**Joyce watched Dawn head upstairs as she turned to lock the front door after Buffy. When she started weaving up the staircase herself, she couldn't stop giggling. Whether it was the alcohol or feeling romance in the air again, or just embarrassment that her girls were actually pushing her to 'put out', she wasn't sure. Maybe it was all three, but she found it all amusing and let herself be happy as she made her way to her bedroom.**

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**Across town, Anya and Willow were in the Magic Box…alone…together. **

**Any of the Scoobies would have thought that a bad idea, even if they didn't mention it aloud. Anya was going through order invoices (her website for the store was really starting to take off) and drinking; heavily drinking.**

**Despite it being after midnight, Willow was still busy going through a collection of spell books and collecting ingredients. Anya had already asked her to leave more than once, but she'd just replied that she was working on something important. She'd told Anya to just go home and she'd lock up when she left, but Anya was being obstinate. **

**_As if I find that a surprise,_ she thought a little nastily while sipping tea.**

"**I should call Tara and have her pick you up. It's late and the shop has been closed for hours. Really, it's just rude for you to still be here," Anya pointed out.**

**Willow sighed in irritation, "Tara's got a bad cold. Just let her sleep. Besides, I've told you to go home, already. Now stop interrupting me, I have to focus to get this spell right."**

"**What are you working on, anyway?" Anya stumbled over. In one hand was a wine glass while in the other was Giles' emergency scotch. "And how come you have to do it now? And are you keeping track of how much your using in…uh…in stuff, 'cause this is still a store and I want to be copmse…uh…compstei…paid for it!"**

"**Anya! Stop worrying about it, will you? I've told you already, Giles will totally understand this. It's to help Buffy against super-whoever she is."**

"**We haven't even seen her in weeks. Maybe she's already left town. Besides, that doesn't mean you can just use the shop's stock as your own."**

"**I don't think so," Willow said. Even Anya, blotto as she was could recognize worry in Willow's voice. "According to the books about the Sphere, it shouldn't feel warm to the touch unless she's nearby and when I picked it up today, it was still warm. Very warm. Besides…he's going to be more upset that you're guzzling his scotch," she added.**

"**You want some?"**

"**No. Well, is it good?"**

"**Giles bought it, what do you think?"**

**Willow shrugged, "Well, maybe just a half of a tumbler or something. I can't afford to get wasted while I'm trying this spell."**

**Once Anya had fetched a glass and given Willow about a hand's width worth, she sat down heavily across from the witch. "So, this spell?"**

"**Oh! Well, according to the Dagon Sphere thingie information, this woman is supposed to be pretty powerful. I mean, I wish we knew her name; maybe we could find something a little more concrete, but the point is that if she shrugged off Buffy, we should all be worrying. So, anyway, I'm trying this teleport deal where I can send her to an alternate realm? That way, we don't have to fight her; we just walk up to her and presto, she's sent far, far away."**

"**Wow. Think you can pull it off, 'cause that would be convenient. Of course, you'll probably just end up opening a different Hell portal and causing even more chaos."**

"**Now what's that supposed to mean?"**

"**You know exactly what I mean! I don't know what you did to Xander, but you messed everything up!"**

"**Xander? What's wrong with Xander?"**

"**He dumped me!"**

"**What? When did this happen?!"**

"**About two weeks now," Anya sniffed. "He didn't want us to tell anyone. You know how he is. He just keeps saying that there are more important things right now and since we are still very good friends, no one needs to have a 'freak out' over it. As if I'm not entitled to express my pain, even in my own shop! Jerk."**

"**Anya, I'm sorry. I mean, I knew this was coming. We talked a little bit, but I didn't know he'd gone through with it."**

"**Now he wants to bang Spike."**

"**Ugh," Willow choked up her swallow of scotch across the table, searing her throat. Once she'd gasped a few breaths, she stared at Anya through wide, and watery, eyes. **

"**He told you that?! I mean, I thought he wanted it to stay super-duper secret!"**

"**He told you?! You know about him wanting to get Spike's penis?"**

"**God, the way you phrase things! But, yes, he told me he had, uhm, feelings for him. But he wasn't supposed to tell you until Tara and I could…." Willow bit her lip in hesitation.**

"…**could what? Could what, Willow?!" Anya glared at the witch. "Could cast a spell on me, maybe? So that I'd be happy about it!"**

"**No! Of course, not! I'd never play with people's emotions like that. We just wanted to have…look, do we have to talk about this? Obviously it wasn't necessary."**

"**Oh, no way! I want to hear this. Just what were you and Tara supposed to do, you…you…you bumbling witch!"**

"**Hey! And we were supposed to be looking into protection spells. In case you acted like you and went on a vengeance rampage! I swear; I don't know why Xander ever fell for you anyway! That man and demons…."**

"**I knew it! I knew that you never approved of me and Xander," Anya slurred. "That's probably why your stupid 'put him back together' spell crapped out."**

"**What do you mean? There is nothing wrong with my spells! They always work, which is more than I can say for you. Half the time the only thing you're doing while the rest of us are working is complaining. 'Oh, I'm Anya, money; money; goods and services, blah-blah-blah.'"**

"**Well, for your information, I know a thing or two about magic. I did cast a quadzillion wishes, you know! And your spell frizzled. Why else would my very hetero Xander suddenly want to do Spike? Not until after you put Hyena-Xander in him!"**

"**You granted wishes! Not 'cast' them; they weren't spells. And I didn't 'put Hyena into him'. I just put the differing aspects of him back together. Maybe he always wanted Spike, somewhere deep inside? Anyway, it's not my fault you two can't make it work. Not that I think Xander and you ever had a hope of lasting, anyway."**

"**You bitch."**

"**You bigger bitch," Willow glared.**

"**Want more?" Anya poured herself another glass.**

"**I shouldn't. But, what the hell? So, you really think maybe I did something to him," Willow wondered with a little doubt in her voice. "I mean, I love Xan. I'd never screw him up like that on purpose. And between you and me…if it was you or Spike; I'd totally pick you to be with him."**

"**Thanks. I don't know. I mean Toth really did split him up, so Hyena always had to be there, right? And that means that maybe his attraction to Spike was always there. I mean, have you seen the way the two of them pal around…tell me that's entirely heterosexual vampire-human bonding. Movie nights? They sit so close to each other, they're practically holding hands."**

"**It is weird. But Xander has always freaked a bit about gay stuff. I mean much as he jokes about lesbian sex being hot, when he found out about me and Tara, he wigged a bit. It doesn't surprise me that if he was feeling anything not related to girls, he'd be repressing."**

"**Men. They are so self-blind," Anya grumped.**

"**I hear you. And he is definitely among the blindest."**

"**Uh-huh. But he's so sweet, too."**

"**Yeah. And he is one of the truest and loyalist guys I've ever known," Willow added.**

"**And he looked so badly when he was trying to explain," Anya continued. "By the time he got it out, I just couldn't wish that he turned inside out."**

"**Oh, yeah! When he gives you that big-brown eyed, sad puppy look? I can't tell you how many times I've been good and angry at him and then before I even know what's happening, I'm apologizing to him for getting mad, even though I had every stinking right!"**

"**I know! He's breaking my heart, and I'm trying to console him! He's such a…guy!"**

"**The guy-i-est. Hey, let's drink to all the women done wrong," Willow brightened.**

"**I'll gulp to that!"**

"**So," said Anya with a drunken giggle, "Can you imagine Buffy's face when she hears about this?"**

"**Oh, my God! And Giles," the two of them started cackling until they couldn't breathe.**

**Once they had themselves under control and had shared a few more toasts to men and how they messed up everything they touched, Anya became a little too quiet. Willow looked over at her to see her running a finger around the wine glass' rim.**

"**Anya?"**

"**You really thought I'd hurt him? After all this time in the Scoobies, you still don't trust me?"**

"**It's not that," Willow fudged. "It's just…if it was me, I'd want a little well deserved suffering on his behind, and well, with your past…. I just wasn't sure. Sorry?"**

"**No, I guess I understand. I mean, I spent way more time as a demon than I did as a woman. And well, they do say that 'hell hath no fury, etcetera'. But you don't have to worry about him; I wouldn't do that kind of thing now. I'm trying really hard to grow as a human. It's just… men just suck!"**

"**Preaching to the choir," Willow assured her.**

"**So," Anya brightened. "Are we ready to try this teleport do-hickey?"**

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End Chapter 01


	2. News

**Sunnydale Antics**

Ch 2 – News

**Glorificus stretched luxuriously to find her feet hanging off of the end of a cheap cot. She looked around, sneering at the cramped room she found herself occupying. _Poor Ben,_ she thought, _I should really do something about this place. Maybe I could string lights or something to cheer it up a bit for him._**

**As she got up, she noted that she was wearing hospital scrubs and could feel dried human sweat against her radiant skin. She grimaced. _Really! I'm going to have to have my little helpers talk to him about showering and changing before he crashes._**

**As she exited the small room, Grenl fell to his knees before her. "Your Splendor! We have news, your Worship!"**

"**Uh-huh. Tell you what though, after I take a long bubble bath and you get me some mimosa, we can have a little chat." **

**Grenl scurried in front of her calling out to his brethren that her Most Radiant wished to soak and then he dashed off to fix her a pitcher of mimosa. She smiled indulgently at the munchkins, feeling magnanimous for the moment.**

**Glancing out of the window, she found darkness and her own reflection in the glass pane. "Did I miss an apocalypse? Or is it just night?"**

"**It's early morning, Your Grace. A bit after midnight," Gronx informed her.**

"**Pity, I was sort of hoping for the apocalypse."**

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**In the Magic Box, Willow swayed over a small, table-top cauldron. Within it were dry ingredients of incense powders and glitter. She wore an excited, but drunken, smile.**

**Anya also grinned wildly with anticipation, "So, what now?"**

"**Now, we just sprinkle something with this glittery stuff and then I give the incantation. 'Poof!' No more Hellish Beast. I need something to test it on."**

**Anya glanced around the shop, mentally pricing out the stock. There was no reason to send something expensive away, after all. After a few seconds of eyeing the shelves, she exclaimed in excitement and rushed to a small basket on one of the display tables.**

"**The rabbit's feet," questioned Willow.**

"**Why not? I don't know why Giles even has them here. They give me the frickin' creeps! Let's send them far, far, and away!"**

"**Well, I think we only need one," Willow conceded as she pulled out a purple foot.**

"**As far as I'm concerned you can send the whole basket. Good luck, my fanny!"**

**Willow placed the rabbit's foot on the floor and then pulled Anya back. She took a handful of the magic glitter and began sprinkling it toward the little furry object. As she summoned the magical forces around and within her, she slurred out 'Absentis Vobis'.**

**The grains of glitter glowed as brightly as the noon day sun, forcing the girls to turn away and cover their eyes. As things began to die down, they sneaked a peak and found the rabbit's foot missing from its place on the floor. But its former place wasn't empty; instead there stood a large bearded and green man with short, blunt horns jutting from its head.**

"**Oops."**

"**Olaf!?"**

"**Who dares…Aud!?"**

"**Wait, you know, uh, him," Willow stood flabbergasted.**

"**Aud! Of all the Nine Worlds, that I would meet you again, my Aud. Or should I just call you Anyanka, now?"**

"**Eeek! Send him back, send him back," Anya screeched while hastily backing away.**

"**Who the hell is this guy? And pardon, but I didn't really want to bring you here. Just let me say, 'Recursat'!"**

**As Olaf stood grinning and swinging his hammer menacingly, Willow jumped back to join Anya. "Oops…again."**

"**Oops!? What do you mean oops? Send him back already!"**

"**Oh, Anyanka…always trying to get rid of me. Well, not this time! I've been too long without good ale! But, I'll be back for you, later. And then I'll sweep you off of your feet and to Gundershelm where you will be my barmaid for the rest of your misbegotten life, wench!" Olaf stormed out of the Magic Box, his hammer clumsily smashing things all the way. **

**Just as Willow turned to Anya, they heard a mighty roar and a few screams from the street. "Okay, who the heck is he?"**

"**I knew your stupid spell would never work! And, oh god! Look at this mess. Giles is going to be back tomorrow! And now we have a Troll to stop!"**

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**Buffy was just taking off her coat after a relatively quiet patrol. The Hellmouth was just too irresistible to some critters, so even after her rampage through town; there were always a few vampires who needed a personal lesson. She grimaced a bit as she swiped dust from her red leather pants and wondered how much it would cost to get them cleaned.**

**She'd also been by Willy's to apologize for the way she treated him, but she found the corner bar looted, trashed and empty. A quick tour of the burned building she'd torched made her feel a pang of guilt, not to mention that she wasn't looking forward to telling Giles all about it. But there was no way he was going to not ask why she'd colored her hair black. Once he saw the news reports that police were still looking for a blonde 'person of interest' in the arson, he'd put two and two together immediately and add them up to Buffy. It was going to be better if she just spilled it first. Especially since Xander would probably end up mentioning it on accident anyway.**

**The phone rang, startling her. Quickly grabbing the noise-maker before it could wake up the rest of the house, she gave a frowned sigh. It was only 2:40 in the morning; a call at this time of night was never good.**

"**Hello, Buffy speaking."**

"**Oh, ah, hey Buffy!"**

"**Willow?"**

"**Oh, yep; it's just me. Just wacky side-kick, Willow."**

"**Will? Are you alright? You sound a little drunk. And it's really late, y'know? Or maybe early."**

"**Will you just tell her to get to the Magic Box, already?!" Buffy easily recognized Anya's voice in the background.**

"**So, uh, Buffy…uh, if you're not real busy right now? We could really use your help. There was this little incident during a magic spell I was working on and well, I'll tell you about it when you get here, 'k?"**

**As Buffy was caught between grimacing in worry and rolling her eyes in exasperation, she heard Anya again. "Tell her about the Troll! Who knows what Olaf is up to? Probably trying to pick up a fat bar maid somewhere. And Lord knows once he gets a pint or three into him, he's going to be out of control!"**

"**A Troll? Your magic spell involves a Troll!?"**

"**Uh, see ya when you get here Buffy," Willow quickly hung up on her.**

"**Ugh, I really hate magic," Buffy sighed as she put her coat back on.**

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**Spike lay in deep slumber having spent himself multiple times with his new toy. Although the programming of his companion wasn't all he had hoped for (for one thing, she was way more cheery than the real thing), when it came to the sexual algorithms he'd asked for, her performance was top notch. And her endoskeleton had seen to it that he didn't need to be gentle. Harmony hitting the road had turned out to be a good thing. The Buffybot was much, much better at catering to his needs.**

**The Buffybot's eyes opened and she took in her surroundings. Next to her, lay Spike! A beaming smile crossed her features and lit up her sparkling eyes. He was so cute! And sexy! And trim! Right now though, he was deeply asleep, or possibly dead since there was no respiration coming from him. Well, either way, she needn't disturb him.**

**She got up from the bed quietly and dressed in a pair of Spike's jeans and a pullover T-Shirt. Picking up the boots that Warren had supplied to her, she quickly climbed the steps up into Spike's mausoleum. Once she'd exited and took a few seconds to orient her self to her geographical position, she again beamed with a brilliant smile. **

"**Beware, creatures of the night," she said chirpily, "the Slayer is on the case!"**

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End Chapter 02


	3. Attack of Olaf!

**Sunnydale Antics**

Ch 3 – Attack of Olaf!

**As soon as Buffy had stepped across the threshold of the Magic Box, her mouth dropped open in shock. It looked like a bomb had gone off in the store. An entire counter/shelf arraignment that Xander had hand crafted lay in a splintered and jumbled heap on the floor. Its contents were smashed from where the unit used to sit all the way to the door she was standing in.**

"**Wow, Giles is going to be so pissed," she said.**

**Anya and Willow both looked up at the sound of her voice. Each wore a grimace as they picked up items strewn about. **

"**Willow did it!"**

"**Hey! That's not fair, you helped!"**

**Both girls had balled their fists and began to glare at each other. As each began to yell at one another over who was more at fault and who was paying for the damage, Buffy put her fingers in her mouth. With a loud, sharp whistle she silenced the others.**

"**Just tell me what happened, what exactly a Troll's powers are and which way it headed," she sighed.**

"**Olaf was somebody I used to be involved with," Anya started. "He was human, of course, but he cheated on me and lied to my face. Anyway, one curse later and he was a Troll. I figured the peasants would just, you know, banish him. Anyway, that's how D'Hoffryn found me. He was so impressed that he offered to help me help other women get a little revenge and Anyanka was born. But now, Willow has managed to bring the big oaf here!"**

"**That's not how it happened! Look, Buffy, I was working on this teleport spell to send that hell-bitch to an alternate realm. You know, so you wouldn't have to go fist to fist with her again. Anyway, it worked, but in exchange for the rabbit's foot I sent, we got something back. And how did Olaf appear here anyway, if you spelled him when you were still human?"**

"**Oh," Anya shrugged a little sheepishly. "He, uh, managed to burn down half of the village and no one was too thrilled with me. Before I left, I sent him to the caves of Asgard."**

"**Okay," Buffy interrupted. "I think it's safe to say it doesn't matter how he got here. Now that he is, what do I have to look out for?"**

"**Well, he's really strong," Anya stated. "And he can take some heavy punishment, so don't bother holding back. Oh! And watch out for that hammer he's carrying. It's infused with Troll Magic, but how he managed to get it I couldn't guess. It's not exactly something that a Troll would just give up."**

"**Great, so I just beat him into submission and drag his big butt back here for a return trip. Willow? Get started on a 'return to sender' spell. Anya? Where would he most likely go?"**

"**That one's easy; the nearest pub. Where the bastard will, no doubt, try to seduce a load bearing and stocky waitress!"**

"**Looks like it's the after hours club on 6th and Varney, then. I'll be back in a bit," Buffy said as she turned on her heel. Willow and Anya glared at each other for a minute before they went back to clearing some of the mess.**

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**Spike reached out in the dimness of candlelight for his Slayer only to jump up in panic as his hands met empty sheet. Looking around the small sleeping area, he leaped from the bed and struggled to find a pair of jeans. The ones he usually wore were missing, and that gave him a really bad feeling.**

"**Pet?! Buffy, darling?" With no response, his panic ratcheted up a notch. It was even worse when he found the mausoleum above empty as well.**

**_Oh, shit. If Buffy the Robot meets Buffy the Slayer, my ass is grass, _he thought as he rushed out into the night.**

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**Buffybot wandered Strawberry Hills, her keen eyesight and hearing abilities monitoring the night sights and sounds surrounding her. Her analysis software was sifting for any indication of the vampires that were her sworn duty to execute. These vampires weren't like her beloved Spike. They weren't handsome and sexy and funny and smart. They were just monsters and she needed to find and slay them. She beamed a wide smile as she wandered through the cemetery.**

**Opening a crypt door she peered with her night vision into the dark, enclosed space, but nothing stirred. To make sure, she went inside and opened the sepulcher in the center of the cement building, but all it contained were ashy remains and tattered cloth. **

"**You're not a vampire," she told the remains. "This search is concluded. You may go back to your activities." **

"**The Slayer," a voice greeted her from the doorway of the tomb.**

"**Oh! Hello, there."**

**In front of the Buffybot stood three vampires, all of which were in game face. Of course, even if they weren't, she'd have known. Her sensors weren't picking up any heartbeats for one and for another, being the Slayer was top secret. Only her friends, her Watcher, her sister and mother and her lover knew her identity. Anyone else who called her that could safely be added to the Enemies Database.**

"**We've been searching for you. You've managed to kill our sire and our brothers and sisters, but now you're going to pay for it," the apparent leader growled at her.**

**Buffybot smiled her usual radiant, though empty grin. Although she hadn't yet slain anything, her logic algorithms informed her it was 99 percent probable that he was referring to the other Buffy. Her programming further concluded that they could take credit for each other's work since they were both Buffy. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to inflict emotional distress on you. But you are vampires, so I have a sacred duty."**

"**Uh…yeah, well, we're going to see to it that your duty ends here."**

**Buffybot raised the stake she held in her hand. Spike hadn't provided her with any, so she'd broken off a fence post from one of the yards of Sunnydale.**

"**I think Mr. Posty will have something to say about that!" She engaged her immortal enemies.**

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**Buffy ran into the 'Midnight Rain' after hour's jazz club when she heard the screaming from within. As she entered, it was easy to pick out the Troll.**

**_One of these things is not like the others…_ the old Sesame Street skit rang in her brain.**

"**I demand ale! I demand women for love! And I want babies to eat! Arrrgh!" Olaf glared at the people quaking around him, amused. At first he'd been horribly pissed at Anyanka for sending him to Asgard, especially since he was quickly enslaved when he'd arrived. But after the first five years he'd managed to pick up the language and customs of the peoples there. And after sixteen years, he'd managed to kill his captor, steal his mighty hammer, Ururl, and obtain his freedom. Now he was strangely grateful to his former spouse for her quick temper and irresponsible magic. That was the only reason he hadn't killed her when he'd espied her in the shop. Of course, he was still going to enslave her before he found a way to return home.**

"**Okay, why is it always babies with you things?" He heard a young girl's voice from behind him. As he turned he found himself looking at a scrawny girl with her hips cocked and her arms crossed over her chest. Her hair was dark and her makeup sparse. She was far too thin to be a proper wench.**

**She looked like she wished to appear tough, but she simply had no build to her. It would be laughable if it wasn't irritating; why wasn't she quaking with the rest of them?**

"**Cower, puny human! Olaf the Troll wanders your streets!"**

"**Do you really need to yell everything? I'm standing right here," Buffy said. "Now, we can do things the right way, or we can do things where I beat you unconscious. Which is it going to be?"**

**Olaf let out a boisterous laugh that rattled the glassware in the club. Buffy thought even his laughter sounded a lot like yelling. Did he really need to be so loud?**

"**Oh, little sparrow-girl! You haven't even the strong bones of a serving wench, let alone the build of a warrior. Pah! Go now; lest you anger me."**

"**Sorry, but you have a return ticket to where-the-hell, and I'm here to make sure you board the magic train." Buffy sized him up as she advanced, trying to decide between starting with some feints, or to go for a powerful side kick to his mid-section. She was acutely aware of the absolutely huge hammer as he began menacing her with it.**

"**I did warn you, little woman! You have no one to blame for your smashed bones, but yourself!"**

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**Buffybot smiled widely as one vampire was sent flying into the mausoleum wall by a robot powered punch. At the same time, she was able to stake another attacker, when she felt her self lifted off of her feet. A moment later and she was slammed hard onto the cold, concrete slab of floor with the leader of the trio attempting to restrain her. She noted his fangs coming perilously close to her neck and worried that she'd be damaged. It would negatively affect Spike's enjoyment of her later if she was marred by this vampire.**

**As she struggled to get the leverage she calculated she'd need, she felt the second vampire grab a firm hold on her legs, further restricting her movement. **

"**Spike will not be pleased if you mar my finish," Buffybot reported.**

"**Spike is a traitor," the leader spit. "I don't really care what he thinks."**

**Then as the Buffybot focused on twisting his wrists, he simultaneously leaned in. His fangs made contact with the side of her throat and she detected damage to her simul-skin covering. The vampire hissed, spitting a greenish fluid as he reared back, grimacing in distaste. **

"**What the hell?!"**

**Before the Buffybot had a chance to respond to the enquiry, there was the sound of a dusting vampire. The creature that the 'bot could see beyond the shoulders of the leader disappeared in a rain of dust. She could see Spike standing over her and the last vampire and immediately smiled in response.**

**The leader had also heard the commotion behind him as well as sensing his fellow undead being slain. As he tried to twist his body to meet the unexpected threat at his back, while also moving into a standing position, Buffybot staked him handily, adding to the mess that now coated her.**

"**What are you doing out here, ducks?"**

"**Oh, Spike! My hero!"**

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**Buffy grunted as she side stepped a blow by the Troll hammer, only to be launched into the air by a power-filled fist. She grunted again as she made a jarring stop via her impact with an internal post holding up a loft like area. Actually, it was set up much like the Bronze was, she realized. But any further comparisons to the Scoobies' old hangout were interrupted by Olaf's disturbingly loud and braying laughter as he strode toward her.**

"**A nice move, little one, to avoid my mighty hammer's blow!"**

**Her only response was to leap into a round house kick which caught the large, green giant under his jaw. She was satisfied to see that she wasn't the only one to be thrown around like a doll when he immediately flew into the band area, knocking over a set of drums and microphone stands.**

"**Somebody call 911!" Somebody in the crowd had yelled. But as Buffy passed she heard another voice inform the first that the police couldn't help them. He'd urged the young lady to get to the exit and leave this sort of thing to Buffy. **

"**Trust me," Buffy further heard, "this girl does this sort of thing all the time!"**

**_Must be somebody from Sunnydale High School_, she thought as she rained a few more blows on Olaf. Unfortunately, Anya hadn't been lying about his resistance to injury. Buffy was laying as much of her strength into her punches to his head as she could manage, but he only seemed to be getting pissed. She wound up for a haymaker of a punch, but before the blow could be delivered, she found her self stumbling back into the central bar by a backhand to her chest. **

"**Well fought, girl. But now I am annoyed and thirsty. This will end now," Olaf stated with finality as he brought his hammer around. And though Buffy tried to avoid the blow, she was only partially successful when her feet became tangled in a bar stool. **

**She felt the glancing blow to her stomach and was lifted into the air and across the room. The stool came with her, both of them hitting the floor quite hard. It immediately smashed apart on impact, while she only felt like she wanted to break. With a roll, she returned to her feet only to see Olaf holding an aluminum beer barrel over his head. Amber liquid streamed from a hole in its side, and he was greedily swallowing it down while allowing it to splash his face, his clothing and the floor whenever he closed his mouth momentarily.**

**Buffy grabbed another chair from nearby and sent it arcing over the floor space between them. As it clobbered the Troll and sent him stumbling, he dropped the barrel with a loud crash. Beer continued to pool on the floor, overpowering the lingering cigarette smoke in the air with the smell of hops and yeast.**

"**Arrgh! Dammit, are you yet to be vanquished?! Surely you are a far more mighty warrior than at first I thought!" Olaf glared at her, a vein bulging and throbbing in his forehead. Despite the chair hitting him solidly to the head and face, he still remained far too undamaged for her liking. **

**_Since when did all the bad guys get super powered,_ she sighed.**

"**If you would just come back to the Magic Box with me," she tried to reason with him, "then I wouldn't have to keep beating on you."**

"**And miss the baby eating? The wench loving? The beating on puny men and pillaging their homes? Hah! Where would the fun be in it?"**

**Buffy sighed. She knew it wasn't going to be that easy.**

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**Spike repeated his question to the Buffybot, "You shouldn't be running around town like that."**

**In response he received that same, unending, unchanging beaming grin. "I am fulfilling my destiny to save the world and the helpless from the creatures of the night that aren't you," she stated, her tone adoring.**

"**Yeah, well, that's all nice. I think that Warren-nerd might have overdone the Slayer programming, though. If the other Buffy saw you, she'd be less than pleased."**

"**The other Buffy is my sister Slayer. We also have another sister named Dawn. Dawn is not a Slayer." Spike wasn't quite sure what the point of that statement was; perhaps she just spit out random facts when she thought a response was warranted, but didn't understand the question?**

"**Yeah. So, ducks, why don't we return to Spike's crypt? We don't want any of the Scoobies to see you wandering around town, now do we? Especially if they're with the other not-so-pleasant Buffy. Like I said."**

"**But the vampires, Spike? I should be patrolling."**

"**Uh…I'll take care of that tonight. You seem to be, uh, damaged, anyway?"**

"**Oh, my injury is cosmetic and negligible. Vampires can't drink my temperature regulating fluid," she smiled. **

**In fact, she didn't seem to ever stop smiling. Spike didn't realize how much he'd find it cloying after only a few days.**

"**Of course, you are my Love," Buffybot went on. "I do wish to please you. I will return to the crypt and await your arrival from patrolling, at which time you can ravage me."**

**With this the Buffybot left Spike standing and watching after her. The fluid leak from her throat seemed to be dwindling with only a small loss, as far as he could judge these things. He hoped she didn't overheat, or explode or anything. As he walked behind her to the cemetery's exit, he thought again that having her built had probably been one of his least bright ideas.**

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**Olaf charged at the Slayer, his hammer flying wildly and smashing a large round table and its six seats and sending debris in every direction. She was able to handily dodge the hammer this time. Though it may have delivered a powerful blow, fortunately, it wasn't much for close quarters combat and except for that one glancing hit; she'd been able to dodge her away around, under, or over it.**

**She couldn't say much for the interior of 'Midnight Rain', however. Somebody was getting stuck with one heck of a repair bill. The floors were cracked and contained huge pot holes where the hammer had rained blows down upon it. Tables and chairs were strewn about randomly, many of them smashed beyond use. The bar was deeply pockmarked with cracks. Next to this place, Giles had gotten off really lightly at the Magic Box.**

"**If you'd just," Buffy grunted as she grabbed Olaf's flying wrist and used his own momentum against him to send him stumbling into a brick wall, "cooperate!"**

"**I am getting enraged! I will smash you!"**

"**What are you, the Hulk? Don't you want to go home where you can fight with your fellow Trolls-es?" Buffy lashed out with a few kicks which connected nicely with his waist and kneecap. However, she also took a punch to the face that had her wondering if he'd just broken her nose.**

**Olaf didn't answer, instead swinging his large hammer again. This time, he found his wrist once again caught, but unlike up until this point, the unusually powerful and limber dark haired girl wrenched his wrist until he lost hold of Ururl. The hammer fell heavily to the floor with a flat, loud, clang. With three forearm blows to his face, he'd had no choice but to stumble backward into the wall again.**

**Buffy snatched up the hammer from the floor, feeling its weight. And it was heavy; much more massive than her usual arsenal. She looked at Olaf's awe-struck expression and hefted the hammer in front of her.**

"**So, do we want to surrender now? Or do I have to bash you with this thing?"**

"**Arrgh! No puny girl should be able to lift my mighty hammer! It is bewitched! I order you to put it down, at once!" **

**As Olaf rushed her, Buffy sighed. "Right. Bashing, it is."**

**A moment later and Olaf the Troll was lying flat on the floor, deeply unconscious. Slinging the war hammer over one shoulder and Olaf's prone form over her other, Buffy trudged back to the shop. She was really, really hoping that Willow would be able to send him back where he belonged. It'd be a real neat bonus, if she could do so without bringing something even worse through this time.**

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End Chapter 03


	4. Welcome Back, Giles

**Sunnydale Antics**

Ch 4 – Welcome Back, Giles

**That same morning after a few hours of sleep, Buffy and Dawn met Giles' commuter flight from L.A. at 0945 a.m. Buffy had a Mega-Cappuccino Latte with skim milk. Though half-gone, she still felt like she was only half awake. Of course, it didn't help that she was a bit bruised by the battle with Olaf.**

**Next to her, Dawnie was jumping up and down, looking forward to hearing all about London. For some reason, she'd gotten the idea that it was exotic and metropolitan and she'd been bugging Buffy all morning about their alien British customs and foods. She was positive that their teas and snacks would taste completely different from American food. She was equally sure that Giles would be bringing treats back. **

**Poor Giles had barely gotten his bearings upon off loading from the plane when he found himself dazedly holding an armful of bouncing teenager. Buffy gave her sister a full minute before she pulled her away, getting a grateful smile from her mentor. Giles looked like he hadn't slept so well on the overseas flight and wasn't really up to dealing with Miss Hyper yet.**

"**You've changed your hair," he pointed out to her as he embraced her.**

**Buffy reluctantly ran a hand through her newly black hair. She hated it. She missed her blond locks, but until the investigation into the arson was put to rest, she wanted to stay below Sunnydale P.D.'s radar. Actually, she was surprised she wasn't their first stop. A lot of the detectives were around during her High School career and she had expected to come home and see them talking to her mother by now.**

"**Oh, this? Yeah, well, y'know, everyone else is going blond these days. It's good to be a trendsetter, not a follower. So, ah…things are good, then?" Buffy frowned slightly, "It doesn't look like Travers chained himself to you."**

"**No," he grinned at her tiredly, "No. Actually, Quentin was quite decent. Actually it was a little bit disconcerting. Unfortunately, once he began showing me the information they have on this Glorificus woman, that is her name by the way, I could understand why they were so cooperative."**

**Buffy sighed, while a quick glance showed Dawn frowning in worry. "That bad, huh?"**

"**Yes. Yes, I'm afraid it is, Buffy." He shared a quick glance at Dawn before continuing cryptically. "I believe I know what this, uh, Key is, that she wishes to find. Why she wants it so badly, I mean."**

"**Do you guys know what it is, yet," Dawn asked innocently.**

"**No! Uh, we're still trying to figure that out," Buffy told her.**

"**Well, let's go get my bags and get to the Magic Box, shall we?"**

"**Uh, yeah…. Listen, Giles, a few things have happened since you left," Buffy started.**

"**Buffy, how much trouble could there have been? I've only been gone a month!"**

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**Rupert Giles surveyed his shop, mouth hanging open in disbelief. Though most of the debris was cleared away, some still remained in the piles to which they'd been swept. Hundreds of dollars worth of stock, not to mention the beautiful hand crafted woodwork of Xander's was just…rubbish. The store was obviously closed for the day, and perhaps for longer.**

"**Oh, uh, Giles!" He heard Willow's nervous voice trying to sound happy. "It's so great you're back!"**

**Buffy had warned him that there'd been a battle in the store, but she hadn't mentioned the extent of the destruction. Of course, she'd been right; it could have been worse…no one was hurt, that was the most important thing.**

"**Teleportation, Willow? Transdimensional shifting? Did you purposely wait until I was out of the country to try this because you knew I'd object?" **

**He wanted to sound cross, but right now he knew he just sounded in shock. He could tell, because as much as he felt entitled to a little anger, he was numbed with weariness. Not that there was anything that couldn't be repaired or replaced relatively quickly…or so he was trying to remind himself.**

"**Wait until you weren't here? Of course not, Giles! I…I just thought, y'know, while it was slow, this'd be the perfect time. And it worked! Well, okay, not quite as well as we'd hope for and there was that one slight miscalculation, but I know I'm really close."**

**Giles' disappointed gaze swept over Willow who was trying to be invisible behind Anya, behind the counter. As his eyes narrowed at her, he voiced his disappointment in her for not being more responsible.**

"**W-well, I thought I was. I mean, I'm trying to find a way to help Buffy. And besides…Anya drank up all your scotch!"**

"**Willow!" Anya looked chastised and annoyed all at once. "She helped! That's probably why your spell went kaphlooey anyway."**

"**It didn't go 'kablooey'! It worked, except for that side effect," Willow insisted.**

"**I said 'kaphlooey', not 'kablooey'," Anya said snottily.**

"**Well, that's not even a word."**

"**Ladies!" **

**Both girls jumped slightly and turned their attentions back to the angry man scowling in front of them. "I am deeply disappointed in both of you. I thought that I could trust you to be more careful when experimenting with magic, Willow. And you, Anya! You insisted you could be responsible for the shop while I was away."**

**At that moment, Buffy came in behind Giles and looked over the interior. It looked like pretty much all of the big damage was cleaned up. She was about to suggest someone grab her a broom and dustpan, but Anya noted her presence and back stabbed her.**

"**Well, what about Buffy? Doesn't she get a scowl for that arson, thing?"**

**_Thank goodness we dropped Dawn back home first, _Buffy thought. They were both off from school for winter break.**

"**What?!" Giles turned to his Slayer. If his eyes were any wider, she thought they might pop out of his head. Of course, he still might combust if his face got any redder.**

"**Oh, uh, yeah…I was gonna mention that. Really, I was."**

**Giles sighed, feeling a headache clawing at his brain. Obviously his previous conviction that they were all adults had been premature.**

"**I am going to my flat," Giles said. "There, I will pour myself a large glass of brandy, assuming that you haven't raided that as well. I will then crawl into a large tub of scalding water, assuming that there's been no arson in my bathroom, as well. Once I am finished I will attempt to sleep for several hours and then we will all be having a long, long discussion about just what the hell you've been up to while I was away!"**

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**Several hours later, Buffy waited outside of a leather clothing shop. Inside, Xander was browsing, having joined her for the day. She'd needed a supportive ear to give her a little courage for when she had to explain to Giles later about the entire Riley/Whorehouse/Arson deal. Of course, Xander was mostly being 'you are just lucky young lady that the police haven't recognized your work' guy. Not exactly what she'd been looking for when she had invited him.**

**Resting on the floor at her feet were several bags, none of which were for her, darn it. It was the holiday season, the time when she had to buy what she really wanted, but give it to somebody else. She was just debating whether she should get Wills a Hanukah or a Wicca type gift this season, when her Slayer senses interrupted.**

**She looked up, already trying to formulate a plan to dust a vampire in a crowd without being noticed. In front of her, smiling and with small bag in hand from Bed, Bath & Beyond, stood the blond woman from the warehouse. The one that she'd begun to convince herself had moved on. The one who'd seemed to ignore Buffy's best blows.**

"**Well, well, well. It's the itty-bitty Vampire Slayer. Getting in some shopping, Dearie?"**

**Buffy glared hard at the woman, until Xander's voice rang out directly behind her. "Hey, Buff! Do you see Spike as the leather and studded metal bracelet type?"**

**As Xander came around Buffy and joined her, he apologized to the two women. "Whoa, sorry. That was rude; didn't know Buffster was talking to someone, already."**

"**Xander, don't move," Buffy warned as she stepped in front of him; shielding him with her body as much as she could. At the same time she crossed her arms in front of her chest and tried to look menacing.**

"**Relax, sweetie," Glory smiled sweetly, like a spider over a fly in its web. "If I had wanted to hurt your little pal right now, you could tell by my beating you to death with his torn off arm. Now, let's get a good look at you…oh, he is a cutie! Well, you know; if you're into that whole human look."**

**Xander paled as he recognized the threat. Xander hadn't ever seen the woman who had so handily beat the Slayer; he hadn't been in the Magic Box when she'd stopped by for spell ingredients, but he could guess that this would be She. **

"**Glorificus, I presume," he said; trying to sound confident but his voice wouldn't go above a hushed whisper. Buffy had told him that Giles had found her identity, although that was all they knew until they met with him tonight.**

"**You've heard of me? Well, isn't that sweet. Then I'm sure you also know that I'm someone you couldn't beat on your best day of the week, hon. Now, I'm sure little 'Buffster' here has told you I want my Key. I'm also sure that she knows where it's at by now. My sycophants have already spelled every item in that cute little magic shop you kids have got going and its not there. I'm getting a little impatient. Well, what do you expect really? Gods aren't known for their patience."**

"**G-Gods," Xander stuttered in question.**

"**Oh, you haven't come across that tidbit, yet? Sorry to blow the big reveal," Glory giggled. "But now that the secret's out; you can see that you have no chance. It's a good thing I'm a bit more reasonable than most, though."**

**Glory took a threatening step closer to Buffy who refused to budge. Xander wasn't so stubborn and quickly dropped back two steps, all the while berating Buffy in his head for choosing this particular foe to have a pissing contest with.**

"**Not even my patience is unending though," she said. She was glaring into Buffy's eyes who met her stare for stare. Xander might as well have turned into a bench at this point. He didn't know whether to feel slighted or just plain relieved. **

"**Tell you what, sweets: I'll give you your Holidays pain free. But, once January rolls around, you and I are going to meet again. I'd really suggest you not push it. After all, you seem to leave your friends alone in that big ol' college a lot. And little sis is awfully vulnerable in that school. Let's not even talk about your mom all alone in that quaint little gallery she runs. Oh, yes, hon," Glory smiled again. "I know all about you and your, now what's the word? The 'Scoobies'? I know where you live. I know where your friends can be found and I know how to get the information I need sooner or later." **

**Glory turned away then and Buffy actually took a step in her direction before Xander grabbed her arm and held her still. Over her shoulder, the woman who wasn't said lightly, "Bring me my Key children, or someone you care for is going to die bloodily."**

"**I think I might pee my pants now," Xander said once the woman was lost in the crowds.**

"**We need to see Giles. Like right now," Buffy replied.**

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End Ch 04


	5. Considering the Unthinkable

**Sunnydale Antics**

Ch 5 – Considering the Unthinkable

**On a private yacht docked at the Morning View Yacht Club outside of Sunnydale, Gregor looked over his men. Fifty strong and stuck with full armor and enchanted melee weaponry, it was a tight fit, even on this overindulgent vessel. But there was no other real way to get here from Europe. It'd take too long and too much magical power to send this many men and their gear mystically and it wasn't likely that Alitalia were going to allow them onboard with their swords.**

**In the center of the dining room, Sandor and Elias sat back to back. From their swaying hands streamed a circular line of magical energy surrounding them in a mystic field. Sandor softly chanted in a mixture of Italian and Latin, while Sandor sat wide eyed and still. His normally green eyes had become completely white and though he stared at the portion of room in front of him, he was seeing Sunnydale and all of the mystic energies it encompassed.**

**It wasn't long before the two clerics discontinued their spell casting and stiffly stood at attention before Gregor. They were both frowning deeply in disappointment.**

"**The Key is there. We feel its presence radiating out, but its exact location eludes us. It would help immensely if we knew the magic that the Order of Svratka worked," Sandor stated.**

"**I have looked at all of the major energy vortices," said Elias, wiping perspiration from his brow. "The Hellmouth confounds my Eye. Its energy permeates everything."**

"**Surely God will wipe the fog away from your 'great Eye'," Gregor said with a slight sneer. It had been his experience that God wasn't much good in this world. A strange attitude for someone working in the confines of the Vatican and leading the Byzantium Knights, but the young and devout Catholic of youth had been driven from him during the ugly and unholy missions he'd had to participate in. Now, he was more concerned with the world of mortals than with piety.**

"**We will pray upon it," Elias said. Sandor said nothing, but scowled at Gregor for his sacrilegious tone.**

**Gregor turned away and rejoined a group of men who were pouring over maps and satellite surveys of the town to which they'd come. He took a moment to think and decided there wasn't much choice in the matter. Somebody was going to have to scout for the Slayer; perhaps if they let her know they were here, she'd give them the device The Beast searched for. There was no question it was in her possession or that of her Watcher; there was no one else the monks would have entrusted it to in this godless land.**

"**Orlando, Eric and Dante; you'll go into town. Find this Hellmouth's guardian. She shouldn't be hard to spot, just find an ordinary girl doing extraordinary things. We have intelligence she hangs around the Watcher's magic store near the center of town. Try not to cause a conflict if it isn't necessary. She may surprise us and be glad to give up the Key. Fighting gods is a little out of her purview, after all. If you spot any of The Beast's trolls, engage and kill, but do not try to engage the lady herself. Remember, our goal is not to kill Glory, even if I was confident we could; it is to destroy the Key and strand her here. We'll figure out how to get rid of her, later."**

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**Giles sat at the table in his apartment surrounded by Buffy and Xander who looked shaken up a bit. Anya looked relatively bored and was busy eating up everything in his cupboards. Willow was decidedly worried, but whether it was due to her picking up on Buffy's anxiety or if she was worried he'd yell at her again, he wasn't sure. Poor Tara, trying to be one of the team was also there, though she didn't look exactly ready for a long evening. In her lap lay a box of Kleenex being rapidly depleted, while a rubbish bin sat at her feet. In her hand, she held a cup of Giles' Earl Grey and an afghan around her shoulders.**

"**I'm telling you, Giles," Buffy paced, "She knew way too much about us. She must have a network of spies keeping tabs on us. No wonder we haven't seen her around! While I've been allowing myself to be distracted, she's been gaining intel on us…stupid! I should have known she didn't just wander off; I should have been out there hunting for her!"**

"**Buffy, please, do sit down. We'll find a way to deal with this situation. The information that the Council shared should give us some ideas and there's some original documents from the monks who sent the Dagon Sphere."**

"**Giles!? She knows where my mom is, where Dawn is. She knows that Willow and Tara are at the college a lot and where the shop is! No where is safe now."**

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**Spike paced the crypt waiting for the sun to disappear. Willow and Tara had stopped by on the way to Giles', surprising him. One because the damned 'Bot was busy blowing him at the time he'd heard them barge in upstairs but also because he hadn't expected to be invited to a meeting. Usually, Spike sort of just showed up with Xan or if he was really blessed, the Slayer would grab hold of him and draft him into fighting something she couldn't handle herself. It was rare when anyone else gave him any thought. Which, come to think of it, probably meant something big was in the works – just his luck.**

**Buffybot had attempted to resume Spike's O-1a program which was interrupted by her best friend, Willow Rosenberg and her lesbian girlfriend, Tara Maclay. Unfortunately whatever they'd talked about up in the mausoleum had upset him and now her program was in HOLD status awaiting resumption. In the meantime, her attempts to be supportive and listen to anything he wished to speak about weren't working either. He just kept smoking and pacing and saying there was too much sun in California. Even her attempt to inform him of other regions of the globe more conducive to vampire freedom of movement, like the Arctic Circle this time of year, were brusquely ignored. Her programming wasn't really adequate to deal with the situation effectively and she opened a new database file for information collection and collating, hoping her lover would say something she could use to create a new custom program.**

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**Across town, Gronx stood before her mistress with a deep scowl playing on both of their faces.**

"**You're sure?"**

"**Absolutely, Your Most Divine Light. The Knights are here with their probing magicks," Gronx sneered. If she couldn't find the Key, she had no doubt that the Byzantium clerics would also fail.**

**Glory wasn't so confident: "Round up a welcoming committee for them, Gronx. I swear, if they get to my bauble before we do, I'm going to rip out all of you worthless imps' entrails!"**

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"**I don't mean to be a doubting Thomas," Anya said worriedly, "but are we talking about fighting a flippin' GOD here?"**

"**I know, I know," Buffy said. She was also worried, but being impatient kept her distracted so she went with it. "But, you know, we're not talking THE GOD, just a god…with a little 'g'. We can do that, right, Giles?"**

"**Are you insane," Anya continued. "Heaven God or Hell God, the only thing a rational person can do at this point, is give her what she wants and hope she goes away!"**

"**We cannot do that," Giles said quietly. "No matter what, we can't allow her to get her hands on the Key. If she did…well, let's just say it would take a lot more than the Slayer and her support team to keep the world from descending into chaos."**

"**Well," Willow interjected, "maybe Tara and I could find a way to close this gate after she used it. I mean, sure we'd have demons come through, but if we can do it fast enough…."**

"**Willow; and all of you: We cannot let her use this Key. Once she does, there won't be a portal or a gate to close magically. All that will be left is heavens and hells and alternate realities bleeding freely into this one while ours slips into theirs. No one will have the power to stop it from destroying reality, not even the power of the wish could undo the damage. And even when the Key has served its purpose, the results would be catastrophic before the walls between realities re-generated on their own, anyway. Somehow, we have to find a way…." Giles tossed his glasses onto the table and wiped his eyes. He'd been through the documents over and over, but it was very plain. Glorificus uses the Key and everyone suffers eternal chaos. There were very few options once her ceremony was completed. The only one he could consider was ugly beyond his ability to express.**

"**But, according to the documents you just read, once the Key loses its energy, the walls will return," Tara reasoned. She didn't notice Buffy biting at her lower lip or the look of near panic on her face. "So, let's take a different tack: Willow and I will look for ways to speed up the Key's energy usage…have it run out sooner than it ordinarily would. If we can keep the Key from functioning for an extended period, we can limit the damage."**

"**I'm not giving her the Key," Buffy said heatedly.**

"**We don't even know what it is," Xander said. **

**Behind him, Spike stood with one hand resting on his shoulder. He'd arrived just after dark and had been studying the humans around him. He walked around the sofa and looked into Buffy's face, seeing something in her eyes.**

"**Actually, I think somebody in this room does have an idea. Yeah, Slayer? I told you once before that I like this world; I'm not bloody looking forward to losing it to chaos. I say let the witches try this 'hurry things along' spell, give the bitch her soddin' Key and deal with the mess afterward. It'll be a lot better than being dead and then having her use it with no one to stop the insanity afterward."**

"**No one asked you!" Buffy stood glaring at the vampire. He didn't understand why she was being such a stubborn pain in the ass about this. Except, of course, she was Buffy: she was always stubborn!**

"**Do you know what the Key is," Willow asked slightly hurt. "I mean, I thought we learned that shutting each other out never led to good things."**

"**I'm sorry, Will," Buffy said. "I'm sorry that I didn't tell any of you before, but…I just couldn't." She looked back at Giles, "But I think its time."**

**Taking his nod as an assent, she took a deep breath. "The Key is Dawn. The monks worked some major mojo to make us all think she was always here, but…she's not really human. At least, not completely. I can't give her to Glory."**

"**Oh my god," Tara gasped. Partly from the shock, but also in awe at the magic they'd have had to summon. "Are you sure?"**

"**We are," Giles said. "So, you see, we have to find a way to defeat her. No matter how strong she is, there's a weakness. There's always a weakness."**

**There was complete silence as everyone in the room considered what this all meant. Dawn wasn't always there. She may not even be real. But she was so…typical of a teen with an older sister.**

"**Wow. And I thought my life was screwed up," Anya said.**

"**Right, then." Spike clapped his hands together, "We don't give that goddish bint anything. Let's find a way for me to kill her, gang."**

"**Easier said than done," Giles muttered. His mind was already considering doing the unthinkable and part of him hated himself for it, but the other part…the duty bound part told him that killing Dawn Summers might end up being the only way.**

**And Giles wasn't the only one wrestling with guilt over mulling over the idea, at least as a last resort. On the sofa, Xander was internally arguing with his twin personalities. Hyena wanted to kill Dawn now and be done with it and she had Xander ready to slit his own carotid if that's what it would take to spare her. **

**The real horror, however, was Commando agreeing that it may become necessary. He was trying to tell Xander how he could use his soldier skills to make it painless for Dawnie, and so quick that she'd not even realize what was going to happen.**

**And Xander sat scared to death. He had believed that he could maintain control of his body and not allow his compatriots to force him into taking any actions he didn't want to. Now he wasn't so sure…especially since some tiny voice inside was telling him they might be right. **

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

End Ch 5

**Spanderverse Series**:

_BTVS seasons 1-4, excluding Restless._

Spanderverse: To Dream - removed; it sucked

Spanderverse: After 314

Spanderverse: Spike

Spanderverse: Dracula

Spanderverse: Burial

BTVS: Real Me

Spanderverse: Confusion of Three

Preludes

Tensions

Old Friends

Hospital Visits

The Risks of Glory

Hunting Our Needs

The Family We Choose

Falling Apart

Sunnydale Antics


End file.
